The Lords of Salem (2013)

Rob Zombie, why are you making movies? Dragula is one of my favourite songs ever, but your movies just suck, I'm sorry.

Horror is more than blood, tits, bad make- up and flesh- eating hillbillies.

And now this: A mixture of TCM 2 and The Evil Dead, I'm sure they'll use the F- word at least 389 times and I'm sure silicon was one (big) reason to choose the female characters.

Rob Zombie at his best, which means the worst for me...

Parker (2013)

I love Jason Statham. First because of his looks, second because he might be the only dignified replacement of (what hopefully will never happen!) Bruce Willis. --> Maybe because of his looks.

I hate Jennifer Lopez. First because of everything she thinks she has, second because of everything she definitely has (a big behind p.e.)

And now this: A movie combining it all: Action, Coolness, Thrill and a big behind called Jennifer Lopez.

The trailer looks like The Italien Job combined with Out of Sight combined with Walker, Texas Ranger, combined with Point Break.

The only good thing seems to be Jason Statham. The only good looking thing.

What do you think?

Parker starts tomorrow, 25 January 2013 (USA)

Pain & Gain (2013)

Michael Bay?
Oh yeah, that's the guy who sets everything on fire, lets everything explode and doesn't care about a plot or something.

Here he proudly presents the first trailer for Pain & Gain, starring Mark Wahlberg and Dwayme The Rock Johnson. 

I don't know what to say about that, I like Wahlberg and The Rock, but Michael Bay? A true story about Bodybuilders? So much Slowmotion?

Cars.
Muscles.
Action.
Michael Bay.

I hardly doubt I'm gonna watch this. 
Maybe during a flight.
Not.

Evil Dead (2013)

I was more than shocked when I heard that one of the best, one of the most important classic- Horror movies will be remaked.

Even when I heard Sam Raimi will be part of it (however and whatever that means) I am not sure what I think about this production.

First - I've never heard of the director Fede Alvarez before.
Second - the trailer has everything but no cult- potential.
Third - I just don't like the thought of such a pearle to be remaked...

What do you think?

Oh and by the way: I HATE it, when movie posters, trailers or teasers say " The most terrifying blablabla you've ever experienced"
I've seen George W. Bush live - beat this!